Heat Index

you opened the family recipe box
and pulled out an index card
scrawled front and back
with grandma's writing (in pencil)
and told me that grandma
wrote everything in code
and I told you that grandma
was out of her mind
and you agreed

Marxists

I don't know a lot about Marxists

But they seem to know a lot about me

they know about value and savings

and the big sale this memorial day weekend

at wordbarn

Criminal Thoughts

“The killer will be less like the edible dormouse (Glis glis) and more like the spectacled dormouse (Graphiurus ocularis). Just look at the chew pattern.”

-Detective Nocturne from Law & Order: Rodentia Falls

word barn has the best words

order your words from word barn

free shipping on big words

big words

big savings

word barn

One-Handed Forest Clap

“Whiskered animals are like other animals and

unlimited garlic breadsticks are miles away.”

-Original Olive Garden ad copy. Never used. 2011.

stories emerge from the arms

sticking up from the forest floor

none close enough to the other

to allow the hands to touch

“Most of the birds we found out there were traumatized. We can’t prove it, because we have no evidence.”

-Avian Trauma Blogger Justin Hawkins

Astronomy is a Lie

The stars are white LEDs

And space is just black felt

This elaborate hoax

Is unprecedented

Apologies to Myself

I apologized to myself tonight

I said, “I’m sorry for the thoughts I think”

I replied “It’s not a problem. You can’t help it”

And the lie just hung there in my mind